On furlough

Best answerphone message we've heard: 'Hi, it's ___. I'm out of the office for the rest of the year - so please leave me a message.'

Best answerphone message we've heard: "Hi, it's ___. I'm out of the office for the rest of the year — so please leave me a message."

Hello, my name is ...

From the department of "Things Computerworld journalists rarely hear" comes an unexpected request when registering for a conference. "I'm sorry, we only seem to have ordinary 'delegate' badges left. Do you mind not being specifically identified as 'media'?"

Given that the label is often a show stopper for a normal conversation, no, our staffer said, he wouldn't mind in the least.

Freudian ship?

In last week's front page story on superyacht the Tiara, we inadvertently quoted Alloy Yachts' Lee Sigley as saying "we make sure we managing the construction of the boat, not the project." Of course there should have been another verb in there, such as are. Then again, the Tiara is registered in the Cayman Islands, in the Caribbean, so it could have been "We make sure we managing de construction of de boat, mon, not de project."

Caption contest

Only one caption suggestion been received to last week's moody image of Computerworld Excellence Awards organiser Anne Simpson surrounded by a group of IT bods. Either you're all terrified of Anne (we will run it anonymously if you wish) or you've grown out of small T-shirts. Email Mark Broatch if neither is true. The picture is run again below:

Barrelling Darl

Another takes up the SCO challenge: www.firmdesign.ca/darl_will_fud_for_food.jpg

Nothing to lose but their dial tone

"Technology hasn't shortened the working day at all; it's made it longer," says British comedian Mark Steel, as a byway in a potted biography of Karl Marx. With an argument that would resonate with users of growing Wi-Fi "hot-zones", he says workers are now expected to be accessible anytime, anywhere. "The factory workers of Karl Marx's day might have spent 12-hour days at the looms, but you didn't see them weaving down the street."

Addled Jagger Apple'd

Ever wondered how Apple Computer functioned in the early days? Many of the stories at the developing The Folklore

website are revealing about the company and Steve Jobs, and stories like the 1984 one of giving a Mac to Mick Jagger might give a clue to how it manages to get its notebooks into seemingly every movie and TV show ever made (like the 555 phone numbers, this product placement reminds you clumsily that you're watching a movie).

Folklore on Jagger: "Steve tried to strike up a conversation, but he wasn't very successful. Steve told me that Mick couldn't seem to put together a coherent sentence. "His speech was slurred and very slow," Steve described it later, "in fact I think he was on drugs. Either that or he's brain-damaged." After a few minutes, it was clear that Mick had absolutely no interest whatsoever in Apple or the Macintosh, and an awkward silence ensued." Fortunately, Mick's 12-year-old daughter Jade took an interest in MacPaint.

No shoestring budget

Speaking of which, if you've never wanted a pair Apple-branded shoes, don't look here. Selling for the very Apple-ish price of $US400. We suppose it's one way to work out your frustration when your Apple box crashes. Perhaps a free pair should be sent to Jeffrey Zeldman, whose Titanium Powerbook was killed by Panther.

Whiter than white

Oops. Debian says the latest version of the GNU licence isn't compatible with its open source policy.

Icon so

Some brilliant icons created for the Pixelpalooza icon competition.

Offally good

If you're a rabid vegetarian (is this an oxymoron?) who's paranoid about avoiding animal material of any kind, help is at hand. The Food-Expert-ID Array from Affymetrix can detect the DNA of 33 species of animals. Humans?

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